merdeka/back to basics

in celebration of Malaysia's 53rd birthday, i've decided to dedicate my meals today to my motherland - Malaysia. today, my meals reflect the collections of my childhood memory, based on my gastronomic experience. it is also a manisfestation of the staple meals in Malaysia, the iconic homemade dishes that play a significant role in the construction of Malaysia's cultural identity.

b: the humble roti canai with sugar

made for the bf - replacing sugar with mutton curry

roti canai 印度飞饼  

roti canai for breakfast brings back a lot of memories for me. it is one of the cheapest yet satisfyingly filling meal you can get in Malaysia. back in the good old days, a fluffy piece of roti canai and dahl or curry only costs RM 1. when i was around 4 and when dad used to work odd hours, we would always have roti canai with milo at a local mamak before sending bro off to school. bro was skinny back then, and i was the chubby sister who often ate a bit of his share. not very long after, when dad lost his job, together with his best friend, roti canai became our usual breakfast because it was the only thing we could afford. years passed, and things got rosier, but roti canai, the most humble, basic ones you can find at any mamak, remained unchanged. it became my no-go zone during my extreme dieting days but once a while, it does fall back unto my plate, especially during those post-morning exercise with mum. it blows the exercise, but it is always well worth the effort. 

and now, miles away from home, it has landed on my plate again. and like always, it never fails to satisfy. though this pre-made ones can never beat the fresh ones back home, it did the job. i also made mutton curry the night before for the boyfriend. i like mine with sugar best. 

for me, seeing my mainland Chinese boyfriend licking off his plate of roti happily before going to work, just like millions of Malaysians do back home, was the best thing about this meal. 'that's a piece of my childhood you're eating,' i said to myself. 

mid morning snack: strawberries and kiwi

l: fishball soup noodle 鱼丸米粉汤

the highlight of the dish for me was the onion oil ala mum's style. but back home she uses shallots, which is expensive here. the fragrance of the roasted shallots would lift the flavour of any soup

Fishball Soup Noodle 鱼丸米粉汤

fishball noodle soup or fishball soup noodle are two very similar but different things. because, a. there is a type of noodle made out of fish paste and could easily be passed off as fishball noodle b. where you put those words shows which ingredient you favour more, hence, for me it is the FISHBALL.

growing up, i was never one of the privileged few who had a doting stay-at-home mum (mine was doting, but she never could just stay at home) or a 'Kakak' (the loving name we used to call our domestic helpers some still regard to as maid) to serve hot lunch after a day of school. i often came home to an empty house, with only a tail-wagging dog to greet me. lunch was at one time, catered (yes, from catering services that usually bears the name 'Mom's this and that' or 'Homemade' but tastes nothing like the two), pre-cooked (all i needed to do was hit the REHEAT button on the microwave oven), leftovers (this is a gamble, if i loved the dinner before, i'll be a happy child, if not...come to think of it, there was nothing i didn't like)  or good ol' Maggie (instant noodles).

so, i used to look forward to Saturday afternoons  because it was the only time of the week, that i get to eat something piping hot, served in a bowl, in the presence of a stay-at-home mum. yes, it was usually bought from the market, but the mother's presence and the unusually noisy house makes all the difference. not that the noodle soup was bad, in fact, it was and is very very good, and cheap. some good things come cheap.

d: nasi lemak at Old Town Kopitiam, Melbourne...had half because i'm not a very big fan of nasi lemak to begin with

frothy kopi peng...modified to suit locals obviously

Nasi Lemak 椰浆饭

Nasi Lemak is probably the first thing that comes to mind when one mentions Malaysian food. i am however, not a huge fan but patriotism surely reels you in towards this dish, because you would never miss this one in an 'authentic' malaysian restaurant. i shall say no more.

back to routine

b: rolled oats done in a rush

l: leftover shirataki and broccoli, egg with seaweed and mandarin

dessert: organic natural yoghurt & spoonful of Sanitarium cereals

d: bokchoy on a bed of leftover omelet, grilled tofu and more bokchoy

double movie weekend

on friday night...

Ice Kacang Puppy Love

I was actually quite impressed with Ah Niu's directorial debut. Cliched storyline aside, the filmatography was impressive. The director's play with vibrant scenes and backdrops was notable, and it managed to bring the tropic's countryside to life, which is usually featured in drab in other films. I think the actors, apart from
already established Malaysian actress Sinje Lee, did a thumbs up performance that allows them to be distinguished as actors from their singer/songwriter persona. If this was meant to be a 'revival' for Malaysia's Chinese Film Industry (though i'd argue that it is a revival for Malaysian Film Industry, period, especially after the passing of Yasmin Ahmad), Ah Niu certainly nailed it. If this is where MFI is heading to, i'll put my two cents on it and rejoice and await for the bigger and better to come. Now, who says Malaysia Tak Boleh?

Taipei Exchanges...i slept 10 minutes into it, but it's just me after a day of working i reckon

Deprtures. Watched this with the bf last night. Enough has been said about this film. I am probably the latest to watch it.

ku pulang

my reasons for not being able to blog: exam chaos, shocking assignment marks, girls night in dinner, and an incommunicado weekend. they are all very legitimate.

friday night with ana was fun! theme of the night was japanese...and we watched two movies (well, i fell asleep just 10 minutes into the second one...sorry ana!). it's been a while since we had a girls night in, hopefully we'll be able to when xiuster is here. if we get to pry her away from her family....

all photography by ana.s, 2010

my gomae (white sesame) dressing

i bought this mortar from a richmond asian mart

the complete bento...the eggplant didn't quite work though...=(

mmm...Freddo's matcha gelato! jun...i really wish u can try this, it feels like silk on ur tongue...

one thing i learnt from this dinner is that i can be a perfectionist when i want to, for example, i purposely went to Woolies after work just to get a bag of mint and a biscuit roll to garnish this dessert. and i bought an extra miso bowl and tray too. unfortunately, i can cater for two at the moment because boy, is it expensive.  and i am obessed with dishwares at the moment...

you probably can tell which book is mine ...

and so the movie night begin...

brb

don't abandon me yet.

forgotten how to study

b: egg and lettuce on poppy seed roll, bonsoy...i love cracked pepper!

...and a mandarin

lunch: spicy shirataki, vege and fish cake ala Korean, long beans with gommae dressing and kimchi

i love shirataki, or konnyaku...shove diet pills aside, loaded with water and fibre and only 10 calories per block,this is one miracle food...the only miracle is knowing when to stop...

dessert: 1/4 rockmelon

i had two biscuits late afternoon so i think i had a light dinner...whatever that means.

early d: yoplait no fat yogurt, grilled tofu glazed with leftover gommae dressing

 .... light enough?

and i have a short answer test tomorrow for Journalism Ethics and Regulations. I haven't had an exam to sit for in 3 years... i have forgotten how to prepare for an exam, help!

mama

mum and i talked on the phone for about an hour last night. then my battery died, so we had to continue our conversation this afternoon after class.

since her early retirement, she had been busy occupying herself with the luxuries of a housewife she, for the past 25 years of her life, has never been. and by mum's standard of luxury, it's not the usual 'tai tai' retreats at hair salons, nail parlour or Balinese spas. for her, it's the luxury of watching her orchids budding day by day, or see butterflies dance in pairs in our garden, and most of all, taking her sisters to Fujian, where their ancestral home lies, investing in her brother's bird nests farm... 

over the phone and seas apart, she would divulge her recent activities in me, her only daughter. yet each time i sense the faintest sound of dejectedness, a slight melancholy thinly veiled under her somewhat pretentious cheerfulness. like a lover who is still licking the wounds of an ugly heartbreak, still reeling over from the loss of a four-year relationships, one that almost ended in matrimony and kinship. she busies herself with the breakaways of the 'What-Used-To-Be's, and feeling the need to prove that 'she is ok' when in fact, the presence of a friend, of a bond that used to fill up such a huge space in her life is indeed, void. 

and neither she nor anyone else but the prosecutor of the twofold punishment knows why. perhaps loyalty, friendship and trust get lost in translation amidst pride, anger and defeat. perhaps people do change, or perhaps they don't. perhaps they are unwilling to compromise nor accept defeat. perhaps people only show their true colours till the very end, when times are bad, or when things go wrong; or worst still, perhaps they have never showed their true colour, and those happy times were the spent with a hidden agenda.

and perhaps it's a combination of all the above, that resulted in the sudden change of attitude towards my mum - who was only as loyal and faithful as can be. snip, snip, snip...like the puppeteer who decides to stop playing with his once favoured puppet, he severes all ties with my mum.

as i listen the narratives of this bittersweet ending of a strong employer-employee relationship, one that, during its high times, stretched beyond the capacity of working colleagues. she was his hands on toes assistant, his friend, his confidante, his sister - i can't help but feel a withered pang in my heart for my mum. and only because this is not the first time it has happened - her loyalty to her friends often betray her. her good intentions would suffer the blows of their misguided anger and misunderstandings. 

years ago, she lost her oldest friend, her best friend, whom she went all the way to help by taking that friend's daughter in and mothered her. that friend of hers had to go to the United States to seek a job ensuing her husband's bankruptcy, and my mother stepped in to take care of her daughter, putting her own relationship with her rebellious son at risk. my brother was a naive teenager then, who failed to see the goodness of our mother's heart. he would attest his disagreement with this arrangement by rebelling against my mum. to cut the story short, this aunty heard and chose to believe lies told by her elder daughter, who alleged that my mum was mistreating her sister...all i can recollect from the day that that daughter left, was my mum, weeping over the phone, asking over and over again, 'why Angeline, why why why won't you believe me...'.

i often wondered if those questions got drowned in the waves of the pacific ocean...or if they found their way to the land of dreams...

as the sun set, mum and I breathed a deep sigh of helplessness. not knowing how else to console her, i said, 'well mum, at least from this we know only your family would be the one to stick by you in the end, through the good and bad...'

'that is true,' mum said, chuckling nervously, 'that is true Cryst...'

monday on a plate

b: (soy)milk tea, poppy seed roll with mashed avocado

my new cup!

i'm keeping this one

do you like my new cup? it's so antique, it looks like a prop on a The 70's Show set. i found it our store room, it's like ravaging through an Op Shop in there, never knowing what you might find to use...but i did replace this with a good mug, that means i did not steal...

l: stir-fry snap peas, long beans with gomaae (japanese sesame dressing), mixed grains and 1/2 mandarin

afternoon tea during class: Lon & Bakey mini cake
 

d: leftover tomato egg, veges from lunch, mixed grain and miso soup

hofbrauhaus

dinner with the archis at Hofbrauhaus, Lt.BourkeＳｔ, Melbourne.

German beer...mm...

platter of pork knuckles, sausages, pork shank, dumplings, sauerkraut...

sun-day

yes, it's literally a sun-day. after a week and a half long of gloomy weather, the sun is finally out on again.

i'm not at Camberwell this week because my whole body is aching from yesterday's ski trip. i can't remember the last time since i've felt this tired and sore. but it was FUN! well worth the pain and blue-blacks. i'll write more about that once the picture's been uploaded (i left the photography to the boys).

despite being very sleepy and tired, i forced myself to wake at 9.30am.  didn't really have much appetite but felt that i needed a lot fibre (ehem, so you know what i mean). hence i had a banana smoothie. easy. frozen banana, 1 cup soymilk, 1 cup yoghurt, some honey, pinch of cinnamon, some flaxseeds, give them a good blend and voila!

b: ana goes banana smoothie (named after my friend ana. just cuz her name rhymes with banana).

i did some house chores then headed to Lygon Street (Melbourne's Lt Italy) to get some bread from Baker's Delight. i managed to buy a blackberry and raspberry marmalade from the local fine food grocer and a skinny capp from the French patisserie at the end of Lygon. made a mental note to myself to go back again one day, this time i'll take photos of it too.

then i headed to the city,or rather my head dragged my body to the city because my body wants to recuperate on bed all day, but my head knows that i need to get some stuff done. i cannot cannot resist walking into Tokuya everytime i'm in the city. then i cannot cannot resist buying something to add to my pantry. i don't know what the moral of the story is but a. i do think i deserve a VIP card from them b. i realised i am behaving more and more like my mum, God Bless her soul. like her, i noticed myself more willing to spend on pretty japanese dishware and kitchen utensils than on a lipgloss. sigh. i don't know if that's a good thing but i shall find a balance.

lunch: miso soup and steamed sweet potato

dessert: rose tea and a mandarin

cheat day

early morn: fruits salad, a glass of lemon water + 1 teaspoon raw honey

I went to Mr Tulk today as Friday's my cheat day-meaning i allow myself one indulgence. This week is coffee and muffin. It's been ages since i last patroned Mr Tulk-the quaint themed cafe adjacent to the Victorian State Library. (Fun Fact: the cafe is named after the library's first chief librarian, Mr Tulk). Their coffee seem to have lost its finesse, but i do remember reading somewhere that their chief barrista has opened his own establishment (don't quote me on that, i tried to source where this information came from but couldn't, i'm sure it's on The Age Epicure). Less than satisfactory coffee aside, the muffin, with it's crunchy, buttery, golden brown muffin top was very delicious. Plus it came in a relatively small portion, hence the white-not-so-good-for-you carbs does not overwhelm you if you just had one serving. 

had half a lentil roll for late lunch from Queen Vic market. no dinner.

i'm going to bed now...waking up at 4.30am tomorrow. we're going SKIING!

nakanaide

ff and i went to watch Crimson Spring (CMG-Melb Uni Chinese Music Group 2010 production) this evening. though the ghost of previous productions still haunts this one, especially in their all but familiar rhythmn and melody, felix ho's direction is like a breath of fresh air.

as soon as the musical ended, we dashed out of the theatre, wishing to escape the crowd and some familiar faces.

it hard started raining outside, the cold wind as zealous as ever, slicing through every inch of our exposed body. ff zipped up his jacket, threw his hoodie over his head, wore his gloves, and told me to buckle up too. neither of us spoke, nor could we speak, as the rain and wind continued taunting us, splittering and splattering along the way. at one point we were pushing our bodies against the wind, like ancient soldiers forcing their way into the enemy's city gates. my head were turned sideways, hair blowing in all directions, both hands tightly tucked in my pockets, shoulders shrugged up, bracing the wind with whatever might i had in me. then i felt a strong arm pulling me towards his body. my head pressed towards his chest and his right hand shielded my face from the dribbling rain. it wasn't romantic, it was strong, purposeful and protective.

when we finally got to my place, we warmed our feet in front my portable heater. the bf laid on my bed, eyes towards the ceiling, deeply consumed in his thoughts. i suspect flashes of the theatre, his past involvement, his uni days, those that were lost and gained, were playing in his head, like an outdated reel of black and white film. no colour, no sound. just a stream of images.

来，到我这边来。 he said.

i nestled by him. careful to keep my cold hands and feet away from him.

你怎么啦？在想什么？。 i asked, threatened by the vacuum that was occupying this tiny space.

没事。。。在想余阳。

Yu Yang was one of CTG's leading male cast. for many years, he was irreplaceable, no production would be complete without Yu Yang. His acting skills, his voice, his stage charisma were the icing on the cake, the trimmings on the tree. he was also one of the bf's good buddies, though their personality were stark contrasts, yet unlike most friendships, their bond was defined through the hardtimes they've gone through together.

Yu Yang was the bf's 大哥(big brother), looking over him at the Chinese restaurant they both worked in, and ganging up against the stingy owner of the restaurant. yet at the same time, he was, to a certain degree, dependent upon ff and a few other friends. his lack of social skills, which to some people, may come off as arrogance, secluded him from others. his age, his experience, and the hardships he had in life, not being able to complete his bachelor's degree due to financial insecurity and then having to take up skilled migration courses, alienated him from the group of young, rich, carefree, protected teenagers within the theatre group.

often i had seen Yu Yang looking at them from a distance, with a hint of envy and cynic, both at the same time. there was a conflict of acceptance and disassociation, stirring within each time. now, mind you, Yu Yang was far from a nerd, or a typical social outcast, just someone who has seen more than the eyes of the children he longed to be friends with.

then magic would happen.  my boyfriend, who is drawn to him, i suspect, half due to sympathy and half of respect and loyalty, would sense the need to 'rescue' him. just like siblings, you may not agree with them all the time, but you know you'd defend to death when you need to. over the noisy crowd standing between them, the big brother would send his signal  - 走，方昉，咱到外面去。。。and my boyfriend, who would only light up a ciggie when '阳哥' is around, would puff away in an akward, delinquent manner. like a boy proving his manhood to the older brother he looks up to.

i thought of all these, and the last time ff cried when Yu Yang told him he was going back to Shanghai... and, i started crying too.

你又怎么啦？啊？你哭什么呀？the whites in his eyes, now turning red and watery too.

...

我是替你哭的！i blurted, feeling like a child. a rather silly one too.

 ...

he keeps quite for half a while. the reluctant tear in his eye, now rolling down his cheeks too.

哎。。。也许人生就是这样的。。。 he tries to console the both of us, stroking my head.

i knew what he meant, but i can never fully comprehend. i never knew what it's like to be away from home for 8 years, and establishing a new family, then seeing them leaving you one by one, as you remain stagnant, in the same place.

你会回马来西亚吗?

i've been asked this question countless times, and i have been well versed with my reply. but coming from him sounded like a ticking time bomb. like a train wreck waiting to happen, its whistle, deafening...

like all silence during interrogation, mine was taken as an affirmation.

到时候。。。不要太伤心啦，啊

he has already been preparing himself for the exit of yet another loved one. like an airport, waiting to send off the next departure...

dash

just got back from classes for a quick dash of lunch. sex and gender tute was pretty engaging today - this week we sashay from Homosexuality into Orientalism and Gender/Sexuality: (1) Geisha. whilst some of the points raised in my coursemate's presentation was rather interesting, i think the point made by K on racial power - where in one scene where a Japanese guy (a Kabuki performer - stylized theatre performer, often male taking on the role of a female- think Chinese Opera...)  was making a pass on the female lead in An American Geisha. said The female lead- who happens to be an American anthropologist wanting to explore (though she uses the term 'discover herself') the world of Geisha-rejected him rather bluntly, saying she was only in Japan to work. K used this as an example of racism, where Asian men are seen as less sexier than their Western counterparts (i'm putting this very bluntly). I think she was stretching it a little bit. I think it was just the chemistry playing. She was genuinely unattracted to him, just as I assume an Asian female would be too. (you can judge for yourself: see below).

i just think that we ought to be more careful when drawing assumptions because a lot of it might be overreacting and hence create unneccessary tension.



anyways...i rant and ramble a lot don't I?

here's what i've eaten so far....

b: 70kcal fat-free yogurt, black sesame bun

sesame snaps

Munny and I had to dash out of TV journo because we left our footage in the edit suite, that's what you get when put two tech-dummies in a group. my tummy was growling so i had half a packet of these...and shared the remaining packet with Martin (you've met Lachlan, now meet Martin) when we went to collect the edit suite keys from the techies. then Lachlan (as usual) gave us a wikipedia update on sesame snaps for about 5 minutes (it's probably less than that but it felt so). but i love them to pieces. the techs and sesame snaps.

l: failed bokchoy tamagoyaki, rice+natto, straw mushroom, broccoli and half a mandarin.

gotta run now...late for work!

should we send him to Mars?

it's probably the coldest day ever in Melbourne today. for me at least. plus, what's extraordinary about today's coldness is that it's not the usual dry-cold, it's wet and cold. feels like London.

it's been raining awfully lot this year. although Victorians would never (neVA-EVA) use the word AWFUL and RAIN in the same sentence. whenever i say to a local, 'it's raining a lot more this year ain't it?'- with a frown, they get excited as if I mentioned that Abbott would be packed into a spaceship and sent back to Mars. "Yea!! ain't that great mate?" they will exclaim in a tone an octave higher.

which one? the rain? or sending the Mad Monk back to outerspace? i wonder.

anyways, i've been diligently taking photos of what i've eaten. however, i had lunch with my high school friends who were visiting (hi Winnie! hi Kor Woi!) at Stalactites, so i could not (well, i could, by losing grace) constantly take pictures of what i've eaten. but safe to say, i only had half a pita, lots of meat, salad, hummous...

still, this is breakfast

b: soy milk, half a fruit toast given by FF (i accidentally burnt the other half...oops!), half a grapefruit

d: unsweetened green bean soup, slice of melon and 4 strawberries

how can i improve the lighting in my unit when taking photos? the first pic looks so much better because it's taken in the morning, full of sunlight. help, anyone?

bento 1

whils Ms Aixxx was away, my friend Ana suggested that i blog about my daily diet to fill up the emptiness we were feeling. i thought, hey, why not? plus with my bento challenge on, it will also help me keep track of my progress, as well as self-regulating my daily diet. also, with the paranoia that mr.ff will be checking from time to time.

so here goes.

b: unsweetened green bean soup, black sesame bun

l: shirataki + chinese chives, enoki, kimchi, strawberries

d: broccoli + straw mushroom, tomato egg, mixed grain rice + natto

note: i also had skinny capp. at 10.30am.

forgive the crappy photography, it's so hard to source good, natural lighting in my jail cell (=p). and also, i am not trying to emulate anyone out there, or turn this blog into a food blog. no. so please don't set your expectations too high. hate disclaimers. but had to. 

i am improving! you'll see tomorrow!!