love / my not so loveable boyfriend

I have always questioned what love is.

Over the years, i have formed ideas about it, through my own immature and emotionally charged experience; as well as the imagined experience through those around me. Media has helped me construct faint ideas about love too, and they are often insinuate romance, you know, the kind that involves throbbing hearts, sweaty palms, sloppy kisses and a big bunch of roses.

Some of those ideas or preconceived notions were either proven wrong or dropped along the way as i slowly matured. a relationship that promised the ends of the earth fell silent to hard work, distance and unmovable commitment. i soon learned that the loudest promise is not always the most promising one.

However, one thing remains unchanged - the yearning of something solid and steadfast and long lasting. i still long for that. Until now, i still believe that romance exists and should last for eternity.

Which probably explains why i was frustrated and disappointed with my current relationship at an early stage. The kind of romance I had anticipated was seldom if never present in our relationship. He's a man who believes in hard work, in responsibility and perseverance. He won't promise the world, in fact, he'll be the first to promise you that he can't and he won't promise you the world.

I was about to give up, until I had what Oprah Winfrey would call an 'a-ha moment' in terms of this relationship .

We have had ongoing discussions about my future plans. The past few months has been stressful for me, as I am nearing the end of my undergraduate studies. The clock seem to be ticking louder as each day passes, do i apply for my Temporary Residency? If so, how? when? worst, why? We both agreed that we shouldn't take the 'conventional' route of declaring ourselves a de facto couple which would help me get a spousal visa. The last thing I want is for him to think that this relationship was based on that goal. But more than that, I did not want to play the Damsel in Distress and I do not want to depend on men.

Fortunately for me, my current employer offered me a deal that was almost impossible to refuse. They were willing to 'sponsor' my postgraduate studies if I was willing to further study. (by sponsoring, it really means matching my pay to my tuition fees, lodging and basic allowances. I would not be bound to them once I complete my Masters program.

Details of that offer are yet to be ironed out, and at one point, i almost thought it would be aborted due to present circumstances i cannot disclose. But i wasn't the only one gong through the emotional yo-yo. The boyfriend, was even more anxious, pushing me to get the wheels moving, whether it is the Masters offer or my Temporary Residency (TR) application. But what tugged my heartstrings was that he said he could sell his car if he had to, in order to help me.

'Dont leave me alone in Melbourne, ok, fatty?' he texted.

'Well, you'll have lots of other girls to be with anyways,' I teased.

'Don't say that, fatty, I want to live a simple live with you.'

It dawned upon me then, that although we are unlike 'normal' couples my age, even though there aren't many romantic occasions, or candlelight dinners, or sweet talks, he is a teammate that I can rely on no matter what. And perhaps, it is a partnership that will stand the test of time, because it involves a type of love that requires real sacrifice, hard work and executable decisions. And it would be a simple yet fulfilling life indeed.