i thought i'd wait till i get my new laptop before i started blogging again but there's a lot going through my mind lately. i decided to skip dinner tonight and stay back in the office to type this out.
i tend to think a lot at this time of the year. maybe it has something to do with year-end festive spirits. Christmas. a time for thanksgiving and reflection and all that.
firstly, i will be graduating next week. and i'm not sure why, but this event or even saying it out loud does not make me excited...or at least, as excited as i should be. maybe it's because i know i'll be back in uni again next year, maybe it's because i've been working/studying since day one and hence the 'transition' anxiety from uni to workplace does not quite apply to me...
that said, my anxiety about the future does not cease. as soon as i handed in my masters of accounting application form, i walked out of the office, dragging my feet behind me. i remember thinking, 'God it's all in your hands now' i don't know how i'm gonna make it through, i just know i will. and i texted the bf. and the partner gave me this lengthy motivating speech and said, 'i love you, xiaopang' at the end of it. now, anyone who knows the bf knows that i'll probably have to skin him alive to get him to say things like that...so i was shocked. and touched.
(note:we almost killed each other 3 days later but more on that later)
watched The Adventures of Tintin when i was back home in Malaysia and a quote from that movie stuck with me. I won't spoil it for those who have not seen it yet but here's what Captain Haddock said to Tintin when the boy journo was about to give up:
"There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you."
- Captain Haddock, 'The Adventures of Tintin' 2011
It's been my mantra. The fuel that keeps me going, and the fact that everything's gonna be alright because i still have faith in God.
Hahha! Finally! When i type in 'd' on my browser address bar,the auto fill will lead me to doodletuya... and this time there's update! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's like my habit after facebook... hahaha! you should be proud of this! :P
I watched Tintin too... and indeed felt that statement very motivating and true.
p/s:you and fang fang dont kill each other, k?
hah! indeed i am very happy someone still reads this...lol... thank you thank you!
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